Chemistry Vs Curiosity

Wanting to know someone well enough to finish their sentences, yet staying curious enough to wonder how their mind works in the first place. Oh the sweet contradictions of love.

His wife of 35 years still asks him - how do you know what to leave out of a frame? How do you capture the feelings in a moment? He’s been at this for decades, chasing light, waiting on shadows, collecting stories one frame at a time. When she had first met him she was charmed by the way he spotted those unremarkable moments that no one else noticed. A crumpled napkin on a café table. A hand paused between the pages of a book. The way someone rested their hand on someone else’s back. A plate of half-eaten cake, the cream settled into the fork spines. The way the leaves glistened after a heavy downpour. She wondered how he knew which details to frame and which ones to let pass. Even now, decades later, she watches him work like it’s some kind of magic- the way he waits, watches, and knows exactly when to press the shutter.

She picked up the camera once, just to see what it felt like. The light on the plants was soft and golden. But when she looked back at the photo, it didn’t capture what she had felt in that moment. She remembered thinking "Wow, how does he see the world like that?" She wasn’t in a competition with him. It was just one of those moments where she realised that he had a way of seeing life that she’ll never fully understand. And maybe that’s part of why she loved him.

This is a love language too, being endlessly curious about how someone else sees the world, and being obsessed with understanding their process, knowing very well that you won't.

People are always talking about how to keep the spark alive. But maybe it’s not that complicated. Maybe the real spark isn’t about grand gestures or some dramatic declaration. Maybe it requires you to stay curious, and let yourself be surprised by the way someone else thinks.

Maybe keeping the spark alive means holding space for a mind that isn’t yours, and allowing yourself to learn from it. Less ego, more empathy. That’s how love stays on: by choosing, over and over, to see the world through their eyes. And in doing that, you add layers to your own.